One of the things people assume is that, as the menopause approaches, women’s sexual activity virtually ceases along with their interest in the subject.
The idea of post menopausal women carrying on with an active sex life used to be considered somewhat bizarre.
But just because that’s the way it’s thought about doesn’t make it so ….. the reality is that many women continue to enjoy, and be fulfilled by, sex long after the menopause.
In fact sex, and the intimacy that goes with it, is an important part of maintaining both your health and the strength of your relationship with your partner. So you should make the most of it!
What are the key issues around sex and the menopause?
As with most aspects of the menopause the changes taking place in your body are driven by the changes in your hormones – notably oestrogen – but also testosterone.
Testosterone, more normally associated with hypersexual young males, is also responsible for the sex drive in women and is produced in the ovaries.
During the menopause the production of testosterone reduces and this, in turn, is likely to have an impact on your interest in sex. However testosterone production doesn’t stop completely – and a reduction in interest is not at all the same thing as a lack of interest.
Cast your mind back to your teenage years and your 20′s! You’ll probably remember having a much stronger interest in sex than you did in your 40′s.
This change was because of an adjustment to your hormone levels – but the reduction didn’t mean you lost interest, just rebalanced your life a bit!
Your menopause is another stage of this rebalancing process.
The other big hormone change is the reduction of oestrogen. One impact of this is that your mucous tissues become thinner, less elastic and drier. This involves a number of areas of your body – nasal, anal and vaginal lining tissues are all in this category – but clearly the vaginal tissue is, in most cases, the one relevant to your sex life.
The changes mean that the tissues in your vagina aren’t as well lubricated as they were, are less stretchy and are more easily damaged.
Result – sex hurts!
And the damage to the tissue can lead to longer term irritation and infections.
Not surprisingly the mix of reduced sexual desire and increased sexual pain is a powerful disincentive to continue with normal sexual activity – especially as the idea of “seeking help” is possibly a bit embarrassing.
So, what can you do
The reduction in sexual desire is just that, a reduction. So, once you’ve overcome the discomfort issues, less frequent sex can still be enjoyable sex.
It’s quite likely that your partner will also be experiencing a slow down in their desire for sex – it may be that a slightly slower pace might suit you both!
There are several options available to you to help to deal with the discomfort. Put simply these are:
- HRT – the replacement of oestrogen in your body via HRT will reverse the impact on your mucous tissues, and thus reduce the causes of discomfort. However, if you don’t want to be on HRT this isn’t a very good option. Additionally it can take quite a while, several months, for HRT to have an impact on these mucous tissues – so it isn’t a quick fix.
- Oestogen creams, pessaries and vaginal rings – all of these are designed to deliver a small dose of oestrogen to the critical area. The oestrogen delivered is sufficient to restore some of the strength to the mucous tissues – but isn’t enough to get into the wider body. The impact is much faster than with full HRT.
- Vaginal Lubricants – there are a wide range of lubricants which you can apply directly to the vagina. These replace the lack of natural lubrication and stop damage to the vaginal tissue. As a result discomfort is much reduced if not completely removed.
Lubricants can be either water or oil based. Its better to use water based lubricants if your partner uses a condom – oil based lubricants can dissolve latex based condoms!
Lubricants are supplied by a variety of manufacturers. We stock a wide range of the leading brands. - Oral Tablets – there is some evidence that eating foods containing certain fatty acids can help to stimulate the mucous membranes to produce natural lubricants. Examples of foods containing these types of fatty acids are olive oil, avocado and almonds. Omega 7 is a tablet conaining fatty acids derived from the berries of Sea Buckthorn (a Himalayan plant used in oriental medicine) which is believed to stimulate dry mucous membranes to begin producing their own secretions once again.
Tags: intimate lubrication, painful sex, Sex and the Menopause, sex for older women