Uncategorized

If I ever get to meet Suzanne Somers, I may bow down and kiss her on her red-carpet-walking, more expensive than my weekly salary, probably-Italian shoes.

I’ve been spraying myself with estrogen spray pretty much every hour on the hour for the past week or so. I am getting extensively paranoid about the whole blood-clot thing, despite my baby-aspirin routine. Last night I decided to get on the Internet and do some research on menopause and hormones. Everywhere I clicked, there was Suzanne, talking about how awesome her life is and how great she feels. Yeah, yeah, yeah… *Sigh* My life blows in comparison. I get it Suzanne.

I have become obsessed with this smiling, 60-ish woman who looks and feels better than I do and I’m sure-as-hell-not 60 years old.

After prodigious Googling, I had watched essentially every video clip of her available on the Internet, with some old “Three’s Company” clips thrown in to satisfy my nostalgia. God, even then she was perfect wasn’t she. Bitch.

Can’t wait to pick up her books to see what other kind of advice she has and if it might help.

Xoxo
Judy

I just wanted to let you know more about why I decided to start this blog…and to let you all know how much I appreciate your comments.

I started this blog out of pure hormonal rage. That is, my anger towards all the docs that have MIS-treated me, MIS-diagnosed me, and just plain PISSED me off. I feel so empowered by all your comments. I knew I was not alone. With your help we just may change the way women are treated. We may not change the way main-stream medicine treats us, but now we have the power and knowledge to find docs that actually know how to help us, and how to use bioidentical hormones.  Keep the comments coming.

Your fellow maniac,

Judy B.

Now that I’m under the hormone therapy wing of Dr. Lee I started reminiscing about the horrible menopause episodes I used to have with my sisters – one in particular comes to mind…

This is a prime example of my epic menopause bitchiness.

It was during the prime of my worst menopause symptoms – hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats – I was visiting my sister’s house. I was feeling so exhausted I could barely hold my head up during dinner. My sister said to me, “Hey, I bought you this scratch off lottery ticket. Maybe that will make you feel better!”

She tossed it at me and I thought, “Great, I can’t even scratch my own ass, I’ll be sure to get right on scratching this ticket!”

So, regardless of my relentless menopausal mood swing, I scratched off the ticket and I saw that I won TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. I immediately hid the ticket in my bra and started thinking about how to get out of my sister’s house and go claim my winnings. I just kept thinking I couldn’t tell her, or she’d TAKE MY MONEY!

She kept asking me to see the ticket and I kept saying no. Finally, after a full blown screaming match, she told me it was a fake ticket from a joke shop. It wasn’t real at all!! I immediately launched into hysterics, screaming louder, ready for a fight – and all my sister did was laugh.

Really nice to do to a homicidal, hormonally imbalanced woman.

Watch where you step sister, I’m still plotting my revenge.

Xoxo
Judy B.